I wrote this piece a year ago when I was lost and shattered. I am finally posting this, hoping that somehow it’ll inspire everybody who’s been and who are currently battling against odds of life, that there’s always a rainbow after the rain. Hope, believe, strive, and survive! At the end of all life’s struggle, it is always the one who strives win, it is always the fittest who makes it to the finish line. I hope you get something out of it:
You are in your mid-twenties; you got yourself a very fulfilling job; people look up to you; some wants to be just like you; you exude oozing confidence; you enjoy attending parties; you’ve got very good circles of friends; you have planned your life; you precisely know which path to take 5 years from now; you are about to finish your Grad School- – soon enough you will have a masters degree or even a doctorate to add to many accomplishments you got. You get to travel several times a year; you pretty much enjoy luxuries in life, not everybody your age is getting. You seem to have an almost perfect life! You may be a busy career woman but, you did a good job juggling your time in between things: being a partner, being a student, being a daughter, a sister, and a dear friend. YOU think you are a fulfillment of every little girl’s dream – to be a successful young lady!
Gradually, weekly Friday-nights out with friends that are slowly becoming a monthly coffee Tete a’ tete’; then, your girlfriends will call you up to get you as one of their bridesmaids for their upcoming weddings- before you know it, your dresser contains a collection of gowns and dresses you used for your high school buddies’ and college friends’ weddings. Then, as everybody guessed it right, you have an increasing number of Godchildren.
You go on with your life, striving even harder to be on top of your plan. Overtime at work, never-ending paperwork, and research papers: your world revolves around them. The busier you get, the lesser time you spend taking care of yourself, until you just found yourself not capable of doing anything because you are too sick, too weak to move. It was the result of those sleepless nights you spent doing all those you thought are the most important things.
You got no choice but to max out your sick leaves; your boss encourages you to take time off because you are too invalid to do your task at work. You stay at home ALONE, then you suddenly realize that no one’s going to take care of you because the man you were going out with has given up on you, has given up on the kind of life you choose to live. Because, in some ways, you have taken him for granted, because you have prioritized other things, but being a busy bee that you are, you continue to fly.
Months after months, you start feeling uneasy about your job. You are fed up, however, you want to work, you want to earn, you want to support yourself and you want to show your worth. You literally drag yourself to work every day, hoping that this is just a phase that everybody experiences at any point. But the weird feeling gets going until you just found yourself QUITTING. Unlike almost everybody who loses a job, you are at your happiest when you have finally resigned.
You are now jobless but all you want to do is take a rest! And rest all you do! You wake up one morning, staring yourself in a mirror, seeing a screwed young lady, but all you managed to do was go back to sleep because only by sleeping you forget how screwed your life is!
Some say this is a Quarter-life crisis, I say, no matter what phase it is; it surely is a challenge that needs be dealt with ASAP.
***looking back , and going through this piece again after a year, All I can say is, I’m glad I fought . I’m glad I chose to survive. I’m glad I went through all these and have gotten out of this phase complete, stronger , wiser and armored with all life’s learning!